There are several types of connection in dance. They often intertwine, but you can still tell them apart - physical, ground, visual, musical and emotional connection.
Emotional connection is going to be the focal point of this post. A good friend of mine and I refer to it as "The Thing". That thing that makes the dance memorable. Experience it once, and it makes the whole party worth it. Hell, it makes a whole congress or a festival worth it. But first, a quick word on the other types, so we do not collide in definitions.
Physical Connection
Does what it says on the tin. Physical touch and interaction during partner work. Straightforward, yet there is a lot of depth to it. Good technique is vital. It starts with basics such as a light handhold, correct arm placement for both leader and follower, matching each other's pressure and tension, and maintaining the frame to allow new movements to happen. It also includes the finer details - rotation of the fingers, flick motions, shoulder and hip techniques, arm clearing - all of which make movements smooth, efficient and respectful to each other.
Ground Connection
Basic step and balance. Having good basics and not doing unnecessary taps or preparations contributes greatly to lightness in dance - both for leads and followers. Nobody wants to dance with someone and feel like they are moving a piano. Technique is everything here - it removes the obstructions of your own body and prepares you for anything that happens. It will create subconscious control of movements and make time for self-expression. Spatial awareness and floor craft belong here too - so you are not that one couple doing cabaret moves and disrupting everyone else's dance.
Visual Connection
An underrated and often forgotten type of connection. Worlds can change when eyes meet. However, it is not limited to eye contact. It is also looking at the arm as your hand slides along it when changing from closed to open position. Looking at the hand flick to see where it lands. Looking at each other when separating into a solo or shines to let each other know you are still one even when not physically connected. These little details speak loudly.
Musical Connection
This one is discussed in depth in "Musicality?" and further in "Should technique and musicality be separated in class?". Most people see musical connection as the most important. I am here to challenge that. To me, music is a setting, an atmosphere. Imagine being with a person you connect with particularly deeply. Of course you will have a fantastic time in a 5-star resort or on a sunny beach. But with the right person, you will have just as great a time eating McDonald's on a kerb or getting caught in a storm as long as you have each other. That is what songs are - an atmosphere to dive into, each telling a different story to evoke feelings you can share with your partner. Sure, a great song is like that luxury resort - you can enjoy it by yourself, but it will not be as remarkable without someone you genuinely connect with. This leads us to the final type - emotional connection.
Emotional Connection
In my experience, the more experienced the dancer, the less emotional connection they often convey. They often spend too much time in "look what I can do" mode, and too little sharing emotions.
Their physical connection may be the most decorated around, but if no emotions are shared, it is hard to call it a connection. I would call it proximity instead. It is like a nut on a bolt - they are together, but what is being shared? Nothing but proximity. We are not inanimate objects that move cohesively without regard or concern about the interactions with one another. We are emotional beings; we feel, and because we do, we should communicate it to each other during the dance.
Of course, two people can think differently of connection. It can undoubtedly be one-sided. Have you ever been totally in love with someone who did not feel the same way? It is the same thing. What a person feels is not discounted by what another does not. The same goes for how strongly each of you feels it. If you dance with passion, then share a dance with someone who has never felt or danced that way, chances are the passion you share will be very different, if there is any at all. It becomes almost impossible for someone to give what they have never fully explored.
Emotionless dancing seems to be a symptom of dancers who became obsessed with bodies in motion and how they look from outside. Given their need to impress and progress, they become advanced in skill relatively quickly. Unfortunately, because they had no time to mature, they cannot see beyond the exoteric ideals. It seems more pronounced in salsa than in other dances, because so few people stress human interaction beyond bodies in motion. Their elevated skill becomes the most visible thing about them, so they get obsessed with learning more technique, more shines, more moves. Kind of like the guy counting holes in his belt. He is yet to satisfy himself or his partners, but he sure has a lot of holes in his belt. So, he continues to add holes until one day, he stumbles upon love.
Auto-mode
Many advanced dancers keep running in auto-mode, gaining experience and ability, but they have spent so long in it that they do not know how to switch it off. It becomes almost an ingrained inability that prevents them from touching upon emotions. Not just joy, but the array of emotions that makes us feel alive. Trying to reach some type of pinnacle, they genuinely believe there is always more to learn. Sadly, the "always" rarely includes emotions. The bandwidth is there, but it too often represents no more than raw potential. It is like having a 5G connection and using a dial-up modem. Like looking out at a sky that has never been blue. All the ability is there, but it does not do any good because they are not wired to use it.
One thing I like about ballroom dancers is that they morph their feelings to fit each song, while most salsa dancers get stuck with a fixed smile or in auto-mode. It makes us look like we do not understand human interaction, that we are incapable of interacting beyond touch.
Maturity
Display of emotions seems to be more prevalent in mature people. People who have experienced life, be it a young person, or an older person. Life has taught them that sharing emotions magnifies every interaction. They tend to care less about how good they, their partner, or anyone is. They are not necessarily advanced but rather, mature dancers.
Emotionally inexperienced dancers are yet to realise that there is more to life than the body. They are yet to learn that emotion can make the dullest move feel infinitely better than the most skilful, best-executed one. There are mounds of advanced dancers that leave that bandwidth sitting idle - a dormant ability nobody thinks dancing requires.
Skill Level
Connection is also tied to skill level. However, it is not a straight line but rather a U-shaped curve.
A beginner who knows nothing, does not care how they look and has that inner spark will connect. Likewise, an advanced dancer who went through the journey, stopped caring how they look and reignited that inner spark will connect too.
A dancer working on technique and repertoire, even one who has the spark, will have it dulled while those dry subjects take up their attention. Only when what they are learning, whatever part of dance it is, becomes second nature will they loosen up and let that connection happen again. Unfortunately, some forever get stuck in auto-mode, suppressing their hearts.
For people without the personality to connect, it may never happen.
Chemistry
Emotional connection is not just a dance thing - it is there in everything we do together. The connection will always be a connection. Most people call it chemistry. Some sort of emotional experience between two people that makes moments feel more than just moments. When, at a touch, the spark hits deep in your gut. When she smiles, and you do not see her teeth but feel her joy. When she breathes and your breath is taken away. The point when the room feels empty, when all the colours are stolen just by you two, and you feel so light that it seems you are not touching the floor. When you look into her eyes, and the infinity of the world becomes visible. When you actually feel like you have just spent five minutes lost in her eyes.
Anyone, at any time, can be lured away from their current state of mind. It takes skill, but it is possible. Like an experienced lead making a beginner dance well beyond her level. She might have never thought she could reach that level, but she is dancing like a pro for that song. If you are good with emotions, you can certainly influence the emotions of others.
But are we willing to do it? How long, and how hard, are we willing to fight to draw someone into an emotionally charged dance?
Is it even worth it?
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